A Girl's Guide to buying a Girl Lingerie for Valentine's

This post is devised with a particular dynamic in mind - that being between a heterosexual couple. And with a particular stereotypical scenario being played out - in which a man buys a woman lingerie for Valentine's day.

I'm here to prevent disaster.

Because, my friend, you are in dangerous territory.

First of all, you may be thinking, "Yay, a present we both can enjoy!", which is all well and good. However, if you're grumbling and thinking, "If I must buy her something, it may as well be something I'll like too" - you need to reassess. Reassess your relationship, whether or not you're a jerk and whether or not you should have discussed the Valentine's thing if you really aren't into it. A gift given out of obligation may as well not have been given at all.

You might also consider:

(i) Do you know enough about her taste?
(ii) Do you know her sizes?
(iii) Is she insecure and, by buying lingerie, might you be putting too much pressure on her?
(iv) Is she insecure but, by buying lingerie, and via previous conversations and gestures are you helping her build up her confidence and realise she's great as she is?
(v) Would she like this gift?
(vi) Does she normally ever wear lingerie?
(vii) If so, what kinds/styles?

If you can answer those questions with a yes for (i), (ii), (iv), (v) and (vi) - go ahead! You're a knowledgeable and supportive partner. If it's a yes for (iii), you may reconsider this plan. And if you're stuck on (vii), read on.

The above are some options that are elegant, sexy, playful but not at all tacky. This is the track you want to follow. Let's leave the Ann Summers to hen parties, shall we? If you're buying lingerie, you should be investing. It should be a luxury gift that skirts the cringeyness of cheap lingerie as a stereotypical Valentine's gift. Avoid the disgusted look or a slap across the face.

As women get older, in general, they tend to put more energy and money into good undergarments (in their own right and as a basis to a well-fitting and put-together outfit) so you're basically buying something she might get as a treat for herself. And, certainly in my case, lingerie bought as a gift to myself means a bit of splurging. That being said, I've still picked out options from largely highstreet sources above so you won't be entirely bankrupted. 

1. This silk cami and brief combo from Cos is a little more modest but still sheer and sexy and, while less about the skin being revealed, it's tactile and soft against the body. This is the type of thing that'll impress a fashion-savvy gal as Cos is a popular brand but will also show you're not just a perv.

2. Agent Provocateur is extremely expensive but this bra and brief combo with attached garter is from their diffusion line L'Agent and is, therefore, less so. It's also coming from Outnet, a discounted online designer store (keep it in mind for future reference and seem like the best partner ever without emptying your wallet entirely). But, if we look at the style rather than the specific set, you'll see that the key here is that while the sheer and garter are very sexy, the colour and bows make it a little girlier and sweeter and stop it from being overkill.

3. The set from Topshop is for slightly more modest or body-conscious women or girls who just dig the vintage vibe. A nice option for a gal that spends hours trawling through rails in vintage stores.

4. You want to go for the super-sexy vibe? This how to do it. Keeping it all one colour, especially a restrained tone like black, stops it from looking cheap. Win-win.

5. And, finally, this bodysuit from Topshop has a mesh construction with shell-shaped panels over the breasts. It's super-playful and cute for anyone who loved The Little Mermaid or is just up for a bit of a giggle.

So, there you have it. A guide to buying daycent lingerie. Tomorrow's the big day - good luck! And, hey, if neither of you believe in the holiday, then you've got a lingerie guide for future reference. It's always a good gift when done right!

Disclaimer: If it goes tits up (ha), don't blame me.

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On Lingerie - fit, storage and finding quality and bargains.

So, mostly I'm a cartoon-character-underpants-from-Primark kinda gal. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay money to wear a torture device (i.e. thongs etc) all day. But I do like to have pretty things. Weirdly, my interest in the pretty tends to manifest in inner layers while my outerwear is often quite boyish, simple and (almost) practical. This is something that has been becoming truer with time. I'm just not into fussy clothes, being cold or having my movement restricted in any way (i.e. wearing skirts and being unable to sit certain ways, run around, climb things etc - yes, this is a daily concern for me). I feel the blog hasn't been representative of this shift as I tend to only do the odd, rare OOTD when I'm wearing something particularly interesting/stylised/unusual etc.

A favourite - Black lace with underwire from Marks and Spencer. No great support but lovely all the same.

However, I digress. We're talking about what lies beneath, not the other stuff. This piece is basically to discuss how I find tasteful lingerie without spending a fortune. First off, for underpants, I think Primark is fine. I mean, you need a discerning eye at times, but that can be accomplished on your own. Topshop and Urban Outfitters during sales or in general is also good. And Asos can have some great pieces.

A very cute pastel piece from Topshop.

Bras are something I don't go cheap on. For one thing, they tend not to have my size in a lot of places. But mostly because if you need descent support, they just don't cut it. I really like the bras in Urban Outfitters, for example, and I even have one from there but let's just say I won't be going running in it anytime soon. For the practical ones, with proper support, I tend to go higher end and shop in department stores like Brown Thomas and Shaw's. The trick is to buy 3-4 really good ones a couple times a year. Also, it's often said but getting fitted a couple times a year is also recommended. Bra size fluctuates hugely throughout your life. Weight can effect it as breasts are made up of 80% fat but hormone changes and other factors can also have an impact on bra size. You might be certain you're wearing the right size but I've consistently been wrong when I went and had it checked out. Places like Marks and Spencer also do pretty decent bras with good support at a lower price point. For ones that are more about cuteness/appearance, I love Topshop, Asos and labels like Freya, L'Agent and Myla. But I never buy bras that are less necessity and less practical at full price. Sales are where I consistently manage to pick up awesome pieces. Especially the higher end pieces from brands stocked in Brown Thomas.

An Urban Outfitters piece - there is literally no support but it sure looks pretty.

An Asos piece that laces up the back - super-adorable.

With other stuff like garters and stockings, I also tend to go higher end. But, once again, I do my purchasing during sales. I don't spend a lot of money on tights because I rip them all the time, I usually buy them in Dunnes, Primark or Topshop. Mammy also buys a ton of socks, basic underwear and tights for all of us at Christmas so I don't need to do much stocking (heh, geddit?) up during the year. As I mentioned, I don't wear skirts and dresses as much anymore. When I do, I hate the work involved in wearing tights - the constant rearranging, pulling up. And, in recent years, they've started to seem somewhat juvenile. That's why garters make more sense to me. If you get a good one, everything stays put. Not so high-maintenance as tights and somewhat more elegant, non? All of mine, bar one, are from Brown Thomas sales. Same goes for my stockings. And, boy, does brand make a difference here. The one garter I bought elsewhere was from Primark and looked lovely but didn't work at all. It just worked its way down my legs when I walked. For garters and stockings, quality just cannot be faked.

The red one in the middle is the Primark one that just did not work.

An example of the types of bargains you can find if you keep an eye out - cost less than the Primark one!

A final note is storage. I store underpants folded in two in neat piles, bras lying flat on top of each other, socks balled and tossed in a drawer, tights and stockings folded in quarters and in piles and garters folded neatly in tissue and tucked into a corner. I take care of my good pieces and they last because of it.

So, there you are. I hope this was informative - I just thought I share years of trial and error and my keen ability to scope out a bargain!

Keeping things tidy.