Just because you love something, it doesn't mean that it's always easy. They (Shakespeare) say that the course of true love never did run smooth and there are few truer loves in my life than fashion. But it moves at a punishing pace. A pace that can sometimes be hard to sustain.
Originally, I planned not to attend LFW in September because I was busy with family celebrations and full-time writing had made balancing my blog and contributing to various publications difficult. I intended to do what I had done for years and just watch streams and get photos after the fact rather than attend shows in person. However, what began as a small step back from the direct madness of fashion month, turned into my turning my back on it completely for once.
I feel guilty even admitting this. Which is crazy. Almost as if fashion were actually a lover I was neglecting.
It wasn't intentional but I needed a fashion week, and month, detox. I needed to take a breath and gain some perspective instead of ploughing blindly forwards. Because, the thing is, blogging is so competitive that it's easy to forget why you began and to think only of progress, numbers, achievements. And, while I don't make a living from my personal blog, it has turned fashion from something I just consume for fun and out of interest, into something I consider professionally. Which is fine, it's what I want my future to entail but I don't want to get so wrapped up in it again that I lose myself.
I've felt a little lost for a while now. As if I'm doing what is expected. Talking about what will come up in google searches. Writing just to be read and not to say something.
Reviews and events will remain because I'm privileged enough to work with some amazing brands and get opportunities that other bloggers dream of, that I dreamed of once. However, I'm going to try to write talkative pieces, pieces where I think, where I say something, where I fall back in love with fashion. But maybe fashion and I need to have a new relationship, something more mature, a little less slavish. Because more and more, the industry - the lack of sustainability, the waste, the thoughtlessness, the inequalities, the pressures - terrifies me.
I firmly believe that if you love something, you must accept its flaws and choose to continue loving it or leave it behind. You have to love it enough to see past the bad and to see it as the foil to the good. The fashion industry is deeply flawed but design, art, creativity and outstanding humans keep my faith in tact.
Hopefully, this breather will leave me refreshed and ready to better deal with a lifetime of fashion months in a more considered, calm and balanced way.
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